Monday, August 25, 2008

Brittle Sky


The heart grew heavy today.
Overcast skies. Drizzling rains.
Bittersweet nostalgia in the lackadaisical life-journey
A brief halt before pushing open the half shut door
Stepping in to find the fan turned off…yet turning in its inertia
You are inside…
I wondered why was I back…inertia?

The brittle sky breaks open…again
Why can’t I cry as easily?
But, no I don’t want to cry…
Before waking up from half-awake dreams
Before accepting that I have lost…yet again
The white freedom on the greydom is no longer a solace

The cry of anguish has lost itself in my throat
And I stare…The brittle sky breaks…again
I want to find you
In the prelude of tomorrow’s song
I want to ask you
Why you sentenced me to this weary fight…
How can I fight a shadow?

The rain grew heavier…outside…
I am still standing on the threshold of your house
Trying to push open…what was once your door
The door is gone…
But the void is more solid than any wall…
You are gone…and I’m back…inertia
The brittle sky keeps breaking.

6 comments:

Rajyashree Sen said...

Reminds me of all things left behind. Old faces,old shadows and lost dreams..
Life is like this n-person zero sum game, someone once told me, "you win some, you lose some and the outcome equals to that of a null-matrix. And though essentially null, one matrix differs from another in its being null.."

Apeksha said...

hmm....I like it...That stroke of reality in it touched me...I love your vivid ideas...they spring to life in your words....It was all moving....It was raining....It was like I was standing there...watching everything happen....I love the way you draw pictures...Keep writing

Thursday's child has far to go.... said...

I've always felt that there is magic in the rains. It can do strange things to your mind... Thos poem reminds me of a certain stretch of days a couple of yrs back....I used to walk a long stretch of road in the rains, all by myself.... and while watching the rains drizzle on the "Life" -- all around me, I used to get these strange sensations...I used to wonder why I was walking...what is making me do it...I was walking even when i didn't want to..I couldnt stop....

This is what your poem achieved: It brought these obscure thoughts out of Me...

Apeksha said...

As nostalgia hits,
The instinctive knot in the throat develops
And the weight of emotions
Gently reflected in the clouded skies,
The flow of tears as smooth as the rain

The best and the worst of the past
Come back in the slow walk through the fields.....
A hesitation seems to hurdle the sight
As he tries to turn back....
The memories linger even when all is gone.....
The want of leaving,yet the need of staying behind......

A desire to shatter as easily as the heavens....
An attempt to pull himself back into place from that,
Which can never come back
Trying to leave the comfort in the trance....

The voice doesn't find space
Seeking for something,someone to answer
The heart burning questions......
Struggling with himself,
Wanting to leave a part of him behind,
But in vain.......

A want to step into the past
And satisfy the restlessness......
Of whatever remains...
But nothingness shuns him
As the lines are drawn....

The ability to move and move on
Seems to dissolve in the rains.....
As he stands motionless
Waiting to be answered......

mmm :D couldn't help writing a poem....hehe...this is what I understood....

Asmita said...

a pull...not explined, not logical...but a certain energy pulled you to explore the past and see if you do get anything out of it....
the heart grew as the thoughts tumbled on to you...

what i imagine- a house that is standing in solitude...with the sky pouring down in bursts- like the crying of a person who has suffered a lot yet hasn't stopped holding on to the thing he/she has lost;
tiny moments of happy interludes in life at present is not making up for the loss that looms & still lingers on as a shadow - day and night ...in our thoughts, and hence in our actions ( even though in indirect ways)

" the cry of anguish...."
trying to get the pain out- the negativity out...people say it helps
but u have come to a point of numbness regarding pain......u know the pain is there..but unable to feel it hurting you ( sumthing like amir in kite runner...when he asks hassan to hit him with the pomegranates...)
to walk away from that door of the house- the house of a bit of your past that binds you so strongly that it has the capacity to get you again and again as one visits a grave.....
to find the answers to those questions which can free you;
but the answers don't come.
the answers are absolutely essential to embrace the future in a new way though.
it possible to avoid a person...how do i avoid my thoughts- which land up on the same topic everytime! the grip is like that of an icy ghostly hand of a weed in a garden throatling the flowering plants that i want to plant.....

Akansha~transforming dreams into reality said...

U talk of the natural ceilin ova our head...bt trust me bhaiya...it seems so very like uve sketched it outta the variety of colors tht make u as a person...

Bittersweet nostalgia in the lackadaisical life-journey

ths particular line...its soo very true...i agree to ur view-point...we humans always end up regrettin stuff and yea in the end cajole the circumstances fr showerin their bad luck on us...

Before waking up from half-awake dreams
Before accepting that I have lost…yet again
The white freedom on the greydom is no longer a solace

ths part is soo very touchin...the pefect picture of how human emotions function after havin confrnted somethin tht doesnt go ur way...its very very very appealin...the fact tht it illustrates everythin abt the human mind widout actually referrin to it is jst awesome...magical i wud say...>_<*

The cry of anguish has lost itself in my throat
And I stare…The brittle sky breaks…again

U kno wat bhaiya...ths is the most eye catching part of the whole poem...i love it to the core...it actually manages to hummm the song of the soul thts sufferin amidst the darkeness of the nyt...awaitin someone to arrive wid a beacon of light and dispel it away...

But the void is more solid than any wall…
You are gone…and I’m back…inertia

Very very very true indeed...the perfect image of wat love can lead to if its true...awaitin...fr the sun to rise again...and purge the environment around...to bring back solace and tranquility...hmmm truth doesnt allow anguish to erode someones soul completely...cz by thn love replaces it...and fills the hollow space wid all the warmth pocible...thts the power of love...and thts wat inertia is...love also returns..jst as inertia helps one compose their soul after hvin confrnted the haphazard motion amidst the elasticity of the medium...

awesome one...gr8 piece of writin...keep writin...:)