Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Touch Me Not


“I have a phobia that someone’s always there”
------ Iron Maiden (Fear of The Dark)

In my desperate search for freedom
In my futile search for loneliness
In an aborted attempt of escaping civilization
I always find you my guardian angel
O! Why don’t you just leave me…

Your presence triggers vengeful hatred
Bitter spleen… at being cuddled
Stop holding me…
Its time I walked alone
Please just go…

You never let me breathe
Give me back my space…
I always feel you there
Your stench makes me sick
Why don’t you let me live?

I am down on my knees
Let me sleep…
Loosen the noose of love
Give me a few precious moments of loneliness
Let me fall…Let pain bring me back to life.


Inspired by the artwork of Lois Cordelia(Picture of the same name as poem).An artist who never ceases to amaze me...another of her work which forced me to create something unworthy yet a token of my respect towards her genius. Please visit her site to see for yourself.http://loiscordelia.com/home.htm

3 comments:

LoisCordelia said...

dear Ritz,

wow.... thank you for this further special honour!!

i don't think you are insolent at all... quite the reverse.
somehow i had a feeling you might relate most to this particular silhouette... :) honestly, i am very touched by your poem.

you're absolutely right - although i didn't have quite those thoughts in mind while creating this piece, there was doubtless something of this tension/aversion/repulsion theme going on... implied by the lines of tension between the two figures... i think you're interpretation is extremely valid! in fact you're making me think more deeply about the piece myself...

i can definitely relate to that sense of claustrophobia... perhaps struggling against one's own self as a worst enemy, yet never being able to run away from the self....

as usual, your choice of precisely chiselled words is as stark and dramatic as the black & white contrasts of the silhouette (i can't help thinking they complement each other very well...!).

well, to be sure, i am not one of those individuals you seek who are qualified to give proper literary feedback + criticism (i'm afraid i don't know anyone in that field)... my only (tentative) criticism is that the poem as a whole doesn't seem to have quite your usual cohesiveness (with the exception of the first verse, which i think works best, for this reason), in that each line tends to stand alone - i somehow feel there could be more of a link between the lines, even though each is powerful in its own right. ..... on the other hand, this very staccato effect is actually quite useful, because it highlights the tension of the situation! so it is hardly a criticism, more of an observation.....

much respect to you, .... and thank you for your touching remarks about my artwork :)

lois

Apeksha said...

its....well cant really express what i feel through my feeble words.....i felt entangled when i read it....it was a journey through the actual emotions of being overwhelmed by a sickness.....by the violent invisible feeling that one gets....like being strangled...it is as if you've expressed that seemingly unending exhaustion....after the terrible fights we often put up with ourselves...those choked feelings....your expression....give s a living picture...truly...wonderful....keep writing...sorry couldnt express better...

HONEYBEE said...

I love the smell of your skin, your embrace makes me feel safe... I wish you weren't there in the first place, wish I had never known this weakening support, wish you'd just go away...

Simply written. Good work Ritz. Am impressed.

Please give my appreciation to Ms.Lois Cordelia. Her works are really inspiring.