Last night
I could not sleep
I kept staring at the fan…
With empty eyes
Last night
I could not forget…
I kept tossing in bed…
With helplessly open eyes
Last night
I couldn’t cry
No one heard my silent moans
Or felt the pain of dried tears
Last night
I died a coward’s death
’Coz I died…many a times
In every moment I lived
Last night
I could not find…
As I groped for you
In vain…In the darkness
O’ my love
Last night
Was a nightmare
Without you…
4 comments:
Pardon the amateur, who reads without logic. Pardon him, for he is ever blind.
Last night
I could not sleep
I kept staring at the fan…
With empty eyes
Loved the opening. Can go either ways. Story like; keeps us waiting, wanting.
"Empty eyes"...I wonder, why. I wonder, what.
Where really are we? and,
Where are you?(interesting!)
Last night
I could not forget…
I kept tossing in bed…
With helplessly open eyes
The first three lines 'stick'.I think by now you have begun to reveal.
"could not forget", is this unwanted?
And then, again, the eyes.(Hoping, for reason behind that)
Last night
I couldn’t cry
No one heard my silent moans
Or felt the pain of dried tears
Verifies my 2 stanza comment.
So very hurt! Why?
'Pain of dried tears'...wow, thats deep! multiple meanings! (dried tears, why is it painful?)
Last night
I died a coward’s death
’Coz I died…many a times
In every moment I lived
I think, the last 2 lines wernt necessary.(is that an explanation?)
Last night
I could not find…
As I groped for you
In vain…In the darkness
lol...sorry cant help laughing at 'groped'.
on a serious note, this stanza induces a 'hmm....'
O’ my love
Last night
Was a nightmare
Without you…
Explains everything.
When I read the first 3 lines, i smiled to myself. Its happened to us all. We've all been there. I
wonder, do I miss those sleepless nights? It is what keeps me alive today. Hoping that someday I wont
be able to sleep. (Lovely feeling, isnt it?).
Then you speak about not being able to forget. Is it a grivance? (Hope not). Then comes the silent moans, pain in dried tears and a cowards death. I wonder if the poet is in love. But then, cowards death....I am sure there is another story behind that. So we still need to know.
Then, the wanting and the nightmare. I wonder what is it that drives you (us) to such lenghts. Why is that so true? I think this is the sad part. The tragedy. But tell me, have you ever felt this way for something else? I honestly, cant say.
gud poem dada....bt again i dnt enjoy the melancholy in it....i want happier poems nxt....its flow is lovely tho...keep writing!
just happened to luv the poem.......simply coz it seems simply written but the depth of the wordz is truly thought-provoking dude ! keep it up n goin' ! The melancholyness of the poet in you is nevertheless crystal clear in each n every lone word u take up for ur verdict towards ur life.....just perk up....but keep on reflecting the simple YOU in ur luvly work ,just as u hav done in these poems !
All d bst ! :)
Hey Ritz!it's too much touchy n i'm surprisd feeling the depth of d wordz usd by u.May b we all felt dis any time in our life, but u expressd dis very nicely,perfectly.....gud progress.....
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