Friday, May 23, 2008

Rain Messenger's Diary 1....Wine of the Night

The urge to write…a sudden, overpowering desire, like the feeling of being forced to go through the merciless examinations against our deepest wishes, has suddenly taken hold of me. Thus, after having promised myself I will stop putting my thoughts into words here I am back again. Surprisingly, however, the desire to write though a peerless thing, has one fatal flaw, it simply refuses to come with the idea of what to write on. One of the biggest misconceptions or misinterpretations or “mis-potrayals” of human history is the statement that you never forget to swim or ride a bicycle. True, though the statement maybe it fails to crystallize the most important point that even though you do not forget it, it gets awfully rusted and every movement is strained. So, in spite of writing being my sole vent of my very insecure soul, I find every word strained, halted like the first steps of a baby into the new world. The difference is that the baby is very hopeful (or so we think it is…) about the world, I am still laughing at my audacity of thinking that words would come back to me again…

As I write, I reflect on the futility of our existence. We are all very busy running after an elusive purpose in our lives and in that desperate chase, unknowingly it becomes the purpose of our lives and we keep running. Unfortunately, in spite of being an asthma patient, physically unfit to run for long as my heart gets over excited at the prospect of running and starts running a 100m dash of its own, leaving me short of breath and gasping, life has refused to excuse me from jogging on this cartwheel that we call life .

There are times in a man’s life when he comes at a junction where he has to choose, or as somebody once told me, we never choose, because we never have a choice only an illusion of it, whichever you like but we start understanding that or maybe start getting used to the fact that “Zendagi Migzara”----life goes on. And, we dance along drunk in the wine of the night, exuberant in the omnipresence of our neon God and humbled by the power of our high priest Money. We adjust…make room for…give space to…sacrifice for the team…and give many more names for doing the same thing…LOSE.

The wine of the night has become our very existence, the very meaning , our only excuse for the insanity of this sane world…it has surrounded us…to the extent that whenever you see, people are falling in love with darkness…blackness defines them…we are happy with our grief…we are at home with the night yet the irony is once again we have somehow “managed”. Hats off, to this infinite human capability of adjusting… Even I love getting drunk in the El vino de la noche but what are we going to do about the hangover?

9 comments:

Apeksha said...

hmm....first of all,I have to say you have words and thoughts that can only be called...La magnifique....I think its like the most humble statement you've made....that you can't muster enough words to express your thought process aptly....ofcourse we keep learning all our lives dada...but you're way ahead in the process...I think its so true and pure that its almost like you're offering emotions to feel....ideas to think...I think you break every law of convention and I love your work for that...I think the question you've asked....has very vague answers....maybe,part of our lives our spent in getting rid of the hangover....maybe we never manage to get rid of it...I don't think we humans can reason everything in life...some things just flow out of our hands like sand....I think you've put up a wonderful piece there....Keep writing

partha said...

I only wish that you read pages of your MOM's diary during 80's

To me we are living in a relative world

Today's "WINE of the NIGHT " may turn "AMRTA OF DAWN tomorrow"

I wish you all the best. U hv capability of writing please continue it.

genie said...

you hv grown up ... my baby... keep it up... but dont lose ureself in trying to look for wat you already hv in you... life!!!!

genie said...

by the way... it was great....the article

Akansha~transforming dreams into reality said...

Hey bhaiya...frstly lemme tell u its a pleasure to see ur reflection in the frm of ths awesome article...The message tht uve conveyed has a very significant position in the life tht we live...The journey of life has gt to encounter many situations...bt as a matter of fact...i jst loved the approach tht uve illustrated out here...the question tht uve asked in the end leaves an indellible mark in the reader's mind...to realise tht life's unexplored ways are jst about adpatin and masterin to the up-to-date circumstances tht cum face to face wid us...Anyway jst awesome article....and yaa do keep writin...keep smilin:)

~~TRIPTI~~ said...

After readin all i cn think of is that in a great writer there is always this urge to hold back, to restrain their feelings as the world wont understand the reality the writer can see and experience. But i must saY THAT the thoughts were well-balanced and more so the words are adequately used and what else while trying to restrain one end's up writing something which is do great and good and more so true

Enlightener said...

I must say Ritayanda , that I have never read something as sombre and true like this one ...
I will be running out of Kudos...So this time its a Salute...Never stop writing...For you have what it takes tro write...in the truest sense of the term....Roick on..and gift us all with such beautiful views...
All the best for your exams that you took time off to write this...it truly was worth the precious moments..

R said...

U seem to know how much existence is different from living
But then are u giving up?

semanti said...

"Adjustment"...............how wonderful to read it ....to be reminded of it....be careful your words describe every aspect very beautifully ........is everything really so beautiful????