Futile Expectations

The light shone out…
A defiant challenge to the envelope of darkness…
As, the car cuts through the silence
Speeding towards an unknown destination

The mind races keeping pace…
Forming, destroying and re-forming images…
A bated breath anticipation…a barely concealed desperation…
An endless wait…to meet you

The flowers have to be mauled…
To capture its perfume
Destroying its existence, in order to preserve its essence
In our manic obsession for immortality

A mesh of complicated electronic pathways…
Sealed our friendship
Spanning distances…and human boundaries
Like a soaring eagle seeking to embrace the sun…

Sharing fears and hidden tears…
My memories flood the cobwebs of my mind…
As, I look at the slice of overcast sky through my windscreen
My journey continues…to meet you.

A shared defiance…
And, daring to be different
While the world threatens to overrun us
We do well, just to survive

And, after ages…and countless phone calls…
I come back…and the endless wait promises to end
I seek to meet you…but now you are busy…
With your appointment with eternity…it’s too late

A Walk Along The Lake

A long walk. A half burnt cigarette…
And the mute lake standing testimony to countless dreams
The dilapidated benches strewn with yellow leaves…
The only one who laments our absence…

The moon was always beautiful
When I looked at it through your eyes…
But, now it’s cold with a dead glow…
Almost mocking…cynical about my weakness.

The cigarette burns up to the lips…
And, I finally stub you out…
Yet, I wonder whether you still look at the same sky
Through the gap between those two forsaken trees…

You used to dream of a graveyard full of roses…
While I tried to hide you from harm
You sought a shelter…
But, never found one…you were afraid of imprisonment

The music rings out from the old piano
Like coffee on a rainy afternoon
And, I listen to my life…
Slowly, trickling down glass panes

The light threatens to burn out
And, leave me darkness again…
I embrace it as your gift to me…
While burning my feelings to keep me warm

Unsaid words linger around…
Like a long black veil
While I keep walking
Discovering the oft treaded roads… all over again…

Silent Screams

Tender, tentative steps…
Unsure, short breaths coming as gasps…
She looks around…
She is born…

Time had wasted her…
Flushed her down the gutters
Like unwanted furniture…
And, darkness, her friend had found her…

Screams. Kicks. Bloody lips. Silence…
As, another spirit was broken
And, the wild west was perhaps tamed…
While, she waited to fight another day

She kept no count…
The endless procession of ageless rhythm
Meaningless passion and spewing hate
And, the fire inside keeps the ice outside from melting…

She waited for no knight…
Or, a fairytale police officer…
She did not expect a life
Just survive…

Then, life came calling…
Like the least desired always seems to happen
A primordial stirring, from some ink-black darkness
Deep within her womb

The silence shattered…
And, the imprisoned tigress woke up…
And, the fire, kept the life warm
While, she fought and felt born again…

But, life comes with a price tag…
In the dark alleys of civilization
And there were…Screams. Blood. Silence…
And, this time it wrapped her in an eternal veil.

Rain Messenger's Diary 13...Letter to Annie 2

Dear Annie,
Do you ever feel lost? As if, the one street light that was supposed to somehow show you your way in a dark alley also went off?
Perhaps, you are wondering why I always write you letters full of questions, whose answers will never come. Or, perhaps you don’t, you know me too well. Annie, does that bore you? Knowing someone so well that you can differentiate and interpret their silences? Isn’t that boring? There’s nothing new to expect or any anticipation.
I know I keep losing you, somewhere in the everyday smoke of existence and stench of life. I lose you to the harangued auto-rickshaw man, the interactive computer screens and the homecoming birds. But, it is better this way, it makes it so much more worth it when I rediscover you, in some corner of my mind, shining as I had left you, as somehow the dust of age never seems to settle on your shoulders.
These days everyone seems to have a broken feeling. Or, perhaps Annie, everything is broken, but no one breaks them, they just break anyway. It is like this wind chime, we had once seen, made of sea shells. As, the wind made it dance, it rang out beautifully yet there was a melancholy note, as if, it was sad at being so far away from its nurturer. Annie, remember, what you had said to me? You had said I was a flotsam and could never find an anchor, yet the world seems to be floating around and I seem to be static. The world moves too fast these days, doesn’t it?
My letters to you always find me whining or dreaming or just being me. Through these letters, I find myself as if, seeing me through a glass of scotch. Perhaps, that is why I don’t write to you often. It is not easy to frequently see ourselves in the naked light.
If you have read till here, you will know why I asked you the first question. I feel blind, floundering, feeling my way about and banging off walls. Yet, there you are a blinding flash of light, peace between the frothing breakers, life in a wasteland – I hope this letter finds you well
With all my love,
Rain Messenger