Wait

The rains are back…
She feels before the first drops hit her face…
She closes her eyes…
His smile is all she can see

Distance…and situations…
She waits in silence…
Looking at the ring on a lonely finger
While, salty tears flow with the rain

The unbearable mornings…
As, she remembers every moment
The desperate desire…
To be lost in time with him

Slow music and intimate hugs…
The feel of his lips…
His arms around her…
She remembers…she yearns for…

The agony…the anguish
She would walk miles…
Just for a moment with him
But, he is too far away…and for now it’s an unending wait…

Lost Pages

Suddenly I feel lost…
Having lost those pages full of words…
The stolen emotions…
The forgotten smiles and tears…lost…

That first gift…
To a companion
Pages full of cobwebs and light…
Pain…Relief…a new high…lost

Moments blank out before me…
As, those lost words scream out
The rain…the deafening silence…
The lost music…my lost thoughts…

I forget who I loved…
Or what you demanded of me…
Those quiet afternoon and haunting nights…
I had lost you once…I lost you again…

Cobwebs

The cobwebs revealed themselves…
In the farthest and darkest of corners
As, the accumulated weight was removed
And, the shelves lay barren…bereft of its wealth…

The sun caught the intricate patterns…
Dazzling in its devilish trickery…
The window watched.
Quietly

I walked up to the edge…
And, watched the grey clouds roll in
Its time…
It’s about to rain again

But, I am drawn back
By those empty shelves
Dust…Hollow…
And, cobwebs…

At, the end of it all
Alone behind the scenes, I wonder…
How many tears have I buried?
For every smile to be possible

And, I seek her hand…
To push the cobwebs away…
Push them away…into light
From the farthest and darkest corners of my mind

I had gotten rid of all I had…
But, not what was stored inside
Maybe, that brought the rain…
To help wash the debris away

The words flow like an aimless stream…
A steady patter on the windowpane
The crazy breeze threatening to ruin everything…
Dust. Cobwebs. Sleep…

Rain Messenger's Diary 17...Letter to Annie 6

Dear Annie,

It really has been a long time since I last wrote to you. Somehow, I had not lifted the pen for a long time, words seemed to have frozen and I was going on in a trance.

I know you must be a bit worried by now or wondering whether I am in the clutches of one of my bouts of depression. Let me allay your fears – it is not so. Not all trances are necessarily bad and this definitely aint.

Annie, we have had several conversations over the years, when I have felt your responses in the gentle night breeze or the embrace of the early morning sun. you have inspired me to hold on to perhaps something abstract or even just a notion that better things will come. The eternal sceptic, doubted you. Today, perhaps the wait is over.

Annie, I am drenched again. After all these years of blinding agony, it’s raining again. The fragrance of the night stars and steady assurance of the river seems to be intoxicating me. Each shared laugh or innocent moment of love seems to be a gift.

Sometimes, life makes us feel glad that it is uncertain. Such moments are rare, but this is one such moment when am at peace with the world. I know you must be giving one of your indulgent smiles now, thinking these are the words of a man who is high on life…well I am.

Is that a bad thing???

With all my best wishes,
Rain Messenger

Song of the Road

Perhaps, there is a story…
Behind every tear
A long-forgotten insecurity…
Behind every nightmare

Maybe, peace never had a chance
In the haze of our lust
Poetry butchered…
In our desire to be there first

Did we hear them?
Words that came from beyond the wall…
From men who flirted with insanity
For, we drove them there…

It is perhaps a madman’s rambling…
Irresponsible and unimportant
While, we look towards bloody sunrises…
But, never cease to hide from ourselves…

Where are we all running away…
What are we running towards…
I pause to seek you…
But, the crowd carries me forward…

I search…
I don’t know what…
I cry…
But, I am not sad

Maybe, there’s a story
Somewhere, deep inside…
But, let it be untold…
For, now it’s a little goodbye

Suicide

I lie with my head against the cold rail
Awaiting a reassuring and thundering vibration
And, I look up at the sky…blue…vast…
And, I close my eyes…black…immense…

I lie with my world at peace…
A point beyond grief…
Slow…Detached…Calm…
Green…Blue…Black…

I know not what time is it…
A lost space between night and dawn…
Momentary thoughts drift through my mind…
But, your face remains…

Only, those eyes bother me…
Deep…Knowing…Pained…
My guilt chokes me…tears constricting my throat…
But, here I am and it matters not…anymore…

I hear the wheels…
Somehow…it seems to make no difference…
I open my eyes…kissing the blue…to kiss you
Pain…Blank…Silence…

Sudden Shower

The sudden gust of wind…
Slowly took over my senses
While, the unexpected shower
Drenched my parched soul…

I closed my eyes to see your face
As, the rain beat a steady rhythm
I remembered your promise…
Of drowning in our rain

Someday…
Perhaps, I will draw blood from your lips
Fill life in your veins
Tear you apart, just to make you whole again…

Or, perhaps…
I will take you in my arms…
And, hide you from the world
Waiting, for rain to blanket our kisses…

As, the heavy drops blur my vision
I seek warmth from a distant screen…
Find love in accidents, coffee cups and rain…
Maybe someday, it will all make sense…someday…